Ok, wise things I have to say about this year.

erm, well.

I've loved it. Even the bad bits were important.

Glomps to all you special mad people out there! Especially my Twin, Meme, Lil-bean, Malone, WandaFish, Bunny, BunnyTwin, and last but not least Munchkin, who is the best minion I've ever had! *sniggles*

ok, so Happy New Year, have a fab time!

The End

>>painting negative space @ 10:33 p.m.>>positivity<<

Monday, December 30, 2002
I think I may destroy this blog.

Happy New Year.

>>painting negative space @ 08:53 p.m.>>positivity<<

Saturday, December 28, 2002
yum, fattening kettle chips. So tasty. *grins*

I have decided to love my fat. It's nice fat and doesn't deserve to be persecuted any longer. *pets*

Anyway, back to the world of normality (if I can get there).

My uncle is here. He's my mum's brother, and although he is the most harmless of all her relations he is sometimes very annoying. Like playing Monopoly. He is so patronising about what I should do etc etc. I mean, there are two people left in the game, on of them me and I own half the properties. Who has a good buisiness head? Me, or the person who went out first? XD I think we can answer that quite easily.

Yesterday we went shopping! I got this long purple skirt which is really nice, a fabbity-kewl pair of DMs - they are light purple with squiggles and heart in different colours -the new Georgia Nicolson book - Dancing in my nuddy-pants- and a set of Tarot cards, which I'm learning to read. teehee, I WILL be a mystic, I WILL!

Tomorrow I was meant to be gaming, but not now for various reasons. I'm actually a bit pleased about this, as I'm am SO tired, and I'm not feeling very well...I've got this sort of nausia bugging me from time to time. Mum says I should just sleep it off. A bit hard considering that they woke me up to play Monopoly with them, but hey. What is life without such inconsistancy?

NB, ring many people. Do not forget again, as this would be naughty.

I'm going to go have a bath now, as I'm a bit smelly and I need to get away from the hords for awhile. Too much family is death. *giggle*

>>painting negative space @ 12:34 p.m.>>positivity<<

Thursday, December 26, 2002
Dammit, I fucking GREW UP without even noticing.

This makes Imogen sad/indifferent/wistful of times past/annoyed. how could I grow up without even giving myself a warning?! It's not natural I tells ya.

Ok, so I'm not all grown up. I have the rest of my life to do that, right? But I'm no longer a kid, I've left Neverneverland as did Wendy from Peter Pan. I WANNA FLY AGAIN! *wailing and gnashing of teeth*

Right.

I think I'm done with my melodrama now. Ahem.

So, Christmas was fun. I just don't get the massive kicks I used to get. I used to be able to remember how many Xmas cards we had, who sent each one and all their children's names. Now...*blank*

Still, I had a nice time with my family. Momma and Dad (as well as promising me a pair of DMs...and some sale's shopping), gave me two books which I really wanted to have, seeing as I can't afford them and I have to go and sit in Waterstones to read them. Which actually I like, but it's beside the point. *giggle* They alsogave me a pair of proper good-quality gold hoop earings in a little spangly gold box, and they gave me and Pat Balderdash, a great game if ever there was one! Much love to the parent beasts!

Also much love to my brother, who gave me a pair of beautiful amethyst dangly earings - they are lovely and go so well with the amethyst pendant my Mum got me last year for my birthday. *smiles*

And SO much love to all my friends and other relations who gave me really cool stuff too! Mimi gave me an absolutely gorgeoso bead bracelet and the Lil-bean gave me a bath-bomb....*funfunfun*

I gave my Mum some aromatherapy soaps and things, and a goodluck gemstone, as she could do with some. XD

I gave my Dad a Pouges CD, because when I was a kid in our old house we'd spend the evenings playing his records (yes, I said records. Anyone who knows us will NOT be suprised by this at all.), and The Pouges featured a lot. I've got a lot of very sweet childhood memories with Fairy tale of New York as a sound track. Another reason was we went to Ireland together earlier in the year, and actually had a good time. Those are sometimes hard to come by, so it was really good.

I gave Patrick a Reggae CD, mostly because I couldn't think of anything else, and I knew Mum and dad were giving him a personal CD player anyway. XD, brothers are so hard. I think he likes it though...he listened to it anyway!

We went to Grandma and Grandad's after present opening. When I was younger I thought the two and a something hour journey was forever, but it didn't seem to last any time at all, and I didn't even talk to anyone much...I read my books and looked out of the windo and thought about stuff. Thinking deeply about dumb stuff seems to have become a habit for me. But unlike Pat I don't tell anyone. Strange.

Being at Grandma's was fun. It's their last Xmas in that house, because at Easter they will move down to Suffolk, to a house which my Uncle is buying to invest money (um...they own THREE houses now. I'm thinking this is a little excessive? XD, what it is to be a top photographer!), and Grandma and Grandad are going to live in.

You know what is so sweet? The way my Grandad dotes on my Grandma. He adores her. He gave her earings, a pashmina and all sorts of chocolate and things.

argh, I'll finish my christmas monolouge later...I'm going to go and play games with my nearest and dearest. *kiss*

>>painting negative space @ 11:42 a.m.>>positivity<<

Tuesday, December 24, 2002
I have a lot of things to say - don't I always? ;)- but I'm not gonna. All I will say is MERRY CHRISTMAS to all those I love (you know who you are). Enjoy your holiday, good luck with giving and receiving your prezzies (sometimes it is so hard to look amazed enough!), and have fun!

With love, hugs and kisses...

>>painting negative space @ 06:41 p.m.>>positivity<<

Monday, December 23, 2002

What kind of goth are you? Take it here!

hmmm. eeenteresting....

>>painting negative space @ 05:12 p.m.>>positivity<<

Monday, December 23, 2002
*is laughing her ass off*

Mental guy on the internet! *post AIM convo here*

Parkin369042845: hi a/s/l
Purple2Purple: who are you then?
Parkin369042845: phill
Parkin369042845: u
Purple2Purple: Jenni
Parkin369042845: how old r u
Purple2Purple: too old
Purple2Purple: yourself?
Parkin369042845: 18
Parkin369042845: u
Purple2Purple: XD...I already said
Parkin369042845: when
Purple2Purple: *dies* I'm old enough not to let out personal information on the internet - sorry, but experience has taught me this
Parkin369042845: ok u single
Purple2Purple: no
Parkin369042845: ok soz
Purple2Purple: no problem...I take it you are?
Parkin369042845: yeah
Purple2Purple: you want a gf?
Parkin369042845: not sure
Parkin369042845: fun
Purple2Purple: XD fair enough
Parkin369042845: soz
Purple2Purple: why the apology?
Parkin369042845: u after fun
Purple2Purple: who isn't? but probably not the same kind of fun...I'm a lesbian
Parkin369042845: r right my ex was bi
Purple2Purple: ok
Parkin369042845: so u hav a g/f then
Purple2Purple: yep
Parkin369042845: do u ha va pic
Purple2Purple: not one I'd show you....goodbye

And I blocked the pervert! *dies* He wasn't as bad as this guy called Lasar (what kind of a name is THAT?) who really WAS perverted...*giggles* I told him I had an unnatural cheese fetish. Stupid fuckers.

What do these freaks get out of pouncing on people through the internet? It's sad and sick. I'm taking down my AIM profile...too many sick bastards cang get to me that way.

>>painting negative space @ 05:00 p.m.>>positivity<<

Sunday, December 22, 2002
Had a four course lunch today. I think I might die.

Xmas presents arriving in force. This we like. *grin*

I'm partly watching When Harry met Sally but it makes me cry so I keep on having to get out of the room. lol

>>painting negative space @ 11:20 p.m.>>positivity<<

Sunday, December 22, 2002
It's raining. It hasn't rained in a long while...not loud enough for me to listen to it. I never realised what a pretty sound it is. Usually I just hear it and think 'oh, rain' and catorgorise the sound and then ignore it. But if you actually listen to the sound, then it's like you only really hear it then.

oh dear, I know that sounds a bit mad! I need sleep, lol.

My Twin and I are writing DracoxHarry FanFic. I'm not posting any here, but I have to say how GORGEOUS her Draco is...mmmMMM! :P

maybe one day I'll show a little. :D

Tomorrow we're having lunch with my grandparents, apparently. Franklymy dears, I'd rather eat smoked salmon than sit through lunch with my extended family. Sorry, but that is how it is. It's at times like these that I think god Patrick is who he is. He always manages to keep me sane...odd. It's not like we're that close.

>>painting negative space @ 12:02 a.m.>>positivity<<

Saturday, December 21, 2002
I feel like writing. A lot. More than is healthy and more than is any good to anyone. XD
I don't know why I can have lived with myself for almost fifteen years and still not understand my own thoughts and feelings.
I don't know why some things make me laugh, and silly things make me cry.
I don't know why I like so many different things...why I want to be a goth and a hippy at the same time.
I don't know why I'm a goat and not a sheep.
I don't know why I love winter.
I don't know why I hate fish.
I don't know why I'm scared of climbing up high, but love the view I get.
I don't know why I can understand people.
I don't know why everything is so complex.
I don't know why I look thinner when I've gained weight.
I don't know if there's a reason for life on earth.
I don't know how to be a good person.
I don't know if I'll ever make a difference.
I don't know if I'll ever do what I set out to.
I don't know if I'll always love the colour purple.
I don't know why I always wanted red hair.
I don't know why I've always been a dreamer.
I don't know why I'm writing this.
I don't know why I'm me.

>>painting negative space @ 04:13 p.m.>>positivity<<

Friday, December 20, 2002
I had a disturbing thought the other day. I was thinking about how this year has passed so quickly for me, even though some of it has been hard and sad. Lots of it was fun and lovely, and I really can't understand how it has come around to christmas again.

I was thinking about LOTR, and how I could remember it so clearly, and that this time next year I'd be sitting in the cinema again, watching the last film in the trilogy. And how I'b be almost sixteen. And the year after that I'd be seventeen and the year after that...I'll be at university or on my gap year and I WON'T be a kid anymore. As much as I've had to skip parts of my childhood, I am still a child. My parents do look after me and I don't have to take full responsibility for everything. I'm in a safe place right now, and in as little as two or three years I'm going to be out in the big wide world all alone. And yes, it really really scared me. It made me realise what a precious time the present is. And how the present is the past almost as I write. So instead of wishing that I was grown up and not a teenager and not having to do GCSEs and blah blah blah, I'm going to enjoy it and live for the now because before I know it I'll be thirty and I'll have children and I won't know where my life went. I'll be wishing I'd had another shot.

I feel like I've been in a dream and I've only just woken to the harsh reality, the blanket that was keeping me warm has been pulled off and the wind is biting at my flesh. But...surely better to see life as it is sooner rather than later? It was nice being in the cocoon, but coming out of it gives me that little bit more time to make the most of the real world.

I don't know if anyone will understand this, it could just be me and I'm making fuss about something other people do as a matter of course, I don't know. But I know this: I've changed, and there's no going back.

All that sounds very deep and heavy, so I guess I'll give you some lighter reading!

Lord of the Rings was very funky. As long as you accept that it will resemble the book only very slightly, and don't get annoyed about this too much, it's a rocking movie! And I'm afraid my alligience has changed...LEGOLAS...hot damn that's one sekzay elf-dude! plus he's not taken...*dies* He skateboards down the fucking steps...shooting orcs right and left! I wa very swoonful...*giggles*

I really liked the way they did the Ents. I was quite scared about what they'd look like, but I'm happy to say that they were very good...though a bit too hasty! ;)

Arwen...beautious Liv Tyler strikes again! *.*

Eowyn...SO COOL! We love her, yes we do! I can't wait until she and Faramir find each other...lol! *romance*

Personally I hink Golum is too big...I think he should be smaller and weedier and a bit more slimy...XDXD

oh, I'm tired. It's also qute cold today...mewl. I'm hungry...perhaps I'll go buy something (library computer).

>>painting negative space @ 11:25 a.m.>>positivity<<

Thursday, December 19, 2002
Sadly, WandaFish, I have no brother Will, and what my Momma says goes, in this house. XDXD

I don't mind really, the time we had a real one I just kept on spiking my butt with pine needles so...altogether this way seems safer!

aiaiaiaiaiai! The Two Towers tonight! Mum isn't sure if she's coming after all, so it'll just be me and Papa, which is good in a way, as it prevents my concentration (drooling) from being disturbed by being asked constantly what is ging on...lol, Mum isn't really into the books. XD

FOUR presents in my bedside table...the strain's killing me! LOL! If only I was in an Xmas mood...hey ho, presents and TV still love me muchly!

The Ratman is meant to be coming today. Every year just before Xmas rats get into our floors...I think they're attracted by the decor...*giggles*

My eyebrows look really nice today...hmm...very odd.

>>painting negative space @ 01:04 p.m.>>positivity<<

Wednesday, December 18, 2002
hehehehe, Xmas archery! nothing finer my friends, than shooting baloons, eating mince pies and having much fun chattage! *giggles*

We must all thank MUNCHKIN, and his very funky wife for providing much snackishness! *applaudes*

I'm annoyed with myself in the extreme, as I totally forgot Munchkin's, Bunny's AND BunnyTwin's prezzies...*silly Immi* I guess you'll just have to wait until New Year...*pets*

mmm...satsuma peal. Tasty.

ooooh, I'm going to go see LOTR tomorrow! I cannae WAIT! Legolas and Aragorn have lots more to do in this one...*spangle* And Eowyn looks like she's gonna kick ass!! (I know, not like the book...can't we all just accept this as MOVE ON? Come on, the FILM! The book is fab, the film is fab..let's leave it at that, huh?) It's stupid, but I really can't believe it's only a week until Christmas...it's too soon! lol, never thought I'd say that! I guess I've come to the road of getting super-excited about it, you know? I am excited, but not in a sort of can't-sleep-for-days-beforehand sort of way. XD, I like my lie-ins now. -_*

I started drawing my new D&D character...she's cool. The actual character is a butt-ugly half-demon, but she is a great illusionist, so people see her as this gorgeous siren-type. That's the image I'm drawing right now...I'm having a little bit of trouble deciding on tight leather, or mini red dress...lol. I'm planning out how she's really going to look too. I'm thinking...horns! AND A TAIL! That would be so dinky...*giggles*

ahhh, LOTR...

>>painting negative space @ 09:17 p.m.>>positivity<<

Wednesday, December 18, 2002
I'm really cold and someone stole all my bras. I mean, for god's sake! This life of mine is just so weird sometimes! *dies*

oh, I have three presents sitting next to my bed on my lamp-table. It's exciting! *giggles*

I had a REALLY horrible dream just before I woke up today...I was doing my Intermediate ballet exam (the one after grade 8...which is stupid, but hey, it was a dream), and I failed it. I was so sad, even when I woke up! lol, strange.

Do you ever feel like you've been zipped back in time? Like you've gone back to say a year ago, and you feel precisely how you felt then, you're outlook on life was the same and everything, even though you're still in the present? I asked mum and she said she thought she knew what I meant, but I don't think she really does. She said I should try and avoid that kind of thing, because it might distress me at some point, when the feelings I experience are unpleasant. But when it's happened to me before I've not wanted it to happen or anything..it just did. It was quite odd, but not in a horrible way or anything. hmm

XD, WandaFish, hope your mum recovers...sounds pretty damn nasty. We don't have a real tree. We used to have one and then one Xmas...*giggles*...we've not had one since. XD

KitKat I'll ring or something...you're blog is sadly neglected! Oh and we must bug the other two into the group thing...*grins*

gotta go...

>>painting negative space @ 05:06 p.m.>>positivity<<

Wednesday, December 18, 2002
Sometimes I really love my brother...I think he's the only person who could ever understand about transitional tinsel. *giggles*

>>painting negative space @ 12:46 p.m.>>positivity<<

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

I'm Angelic Cute!! made by Jen

Lol, you know how I was all bothered about getting to go to that New Year party? XD, in the end I was too tired to even fight my corner. No party for I-chan. XD. It would have been really nice, but...there will be others. :D and I still get to go see mah babies and have certain persons up to stay...*bounces*

now I have to go and let Pat play Xmas Jetpack (oh GAWD). *mwaps*

>>painting negative space @ 03:29 p.m.>>positivity<<

Monday, December 16, 2002
LMAO! Dad just came by, stoppped, stared and read what was on the screen really obviously. Honestly, if he's going to spy on me, couldn't he even TRY to be a lettle discreet? XD

Anyway...blurgh...

A friend commented on how my MSN names are always something about angels (Gothic Angel, No Angel, Fallen Angel, etc etc), and today it's "Angel Without Wings". So I thought I'd write a funny poem about it...*grins* It didn't turn out funny, but here you are anyway, just for your amusment...

Angel Without Wings.

Never went to Heaven,
not yet been to Hell,
I still have my soul intact,
and I'm not about to sell.

Never met a cherubin,
not yet hugged a demon,
I'm a human, can't you see?
I'm just a mortal woman.

God loves me,
that's what they say,
I don't believe them,
not today.

Yet still too dear
is Satan's price,
what happens next
is in the dice.

I'm not pure,
my soul's too black.
I'm not evil,
too white for that.

Forever I am mortal grey,
doomed to live another day.
Never to hear a cherub as she sings,
for I'm an angel, without wings.

lol, hope you like it...or at least don't hate it utterly!

I must fly now, on my non-existant wings!

>>painting negative space @ 06:53 p.m.>>positivity<<

Monday, December 16, 2002
heeheehee! The tree is up! This makes me happy...it is just so nice to have it sparkling away...*beamkle*

Patrick and I even came to an agreement about the star/angel argument. The star is up for today, and then we take turns. I'm not sure if he's realised this, but that means I get the angel on Xmas day...:D Not that we'll be here, but hey.

I'm so tired...but I have stuff to do, so I'd better get on I suppose. meh.

oh, Munchkin, if I don't catch you before Wednesday, do you like variations on the theme of whisky? XD leave your answer in the guestbook...

>>painting negative space @ 03:26 p.m.>>positivity<<

Monday, December 16, 2002
What fresh hell is this?

I'm only human. I'm selfish and unpleasent. Knowing it doesn't stop it.

So, I have three invitaions to various stuff...1 New Year party, 2 Lil-bean's birthday, 3 Lil-bean's EO Ball. Mum said this morning that I have to choose from one.

OK, so it won't do me much good, but I'm going to wait until both parent-types are here and then I'm going to wheedle as I've never wheedled before. And believeyou me, I'm pretty damn good at it. Being able to understand people's characters give you a good idea of which buttons to press and how to access them. Yes, it is manipulative, and ok, so I'm not proud of being able to articulte these thoughts. But, my dears, I want to have fun. And heaven knows that I'm not going to find it HERE.

If my plans don't work out (to be able to have two trips..I'm not stupid enough to think that I can get all three) and I only get to go away once, I guess it'll be to TheBean's b-day. I can't not go to my babie's B-day celebrations, can I? What kind of a friend would that make me? A crap one, that's what.

I feel really awful today...my head is too heavy for my neck, it aches and I can't breath through my nose. I'm exhausted because I couldn't sleep...I could only cough for England. I have just done my last Bio assignment (yea!), but I have a huge long Psych' one to do today also (booo). We didn't have time to put up the tree and stuff yesterday, so we're going to do that today. I don't know about anyone else, but there is alwasy an argument about how we do the tree. I like having my little oxfam angel at the top, but Pat likes the gold star. Unfortunately, I think I got my way last year, so he actually has the moral high ground this time...*muttermutter*

>>painting negative space @ 01:30 p.m.>>positivity<<

Sunday, December 15, 2002
My cough is so bad that I have been driven to the limits...I have taken Ecchinacea. As alternative as I am, as much as I believe in complimentary and disagree with conventional medicine, I have to say that things have to get pretty damn terrible before I take the afore mentioned substance. This is because, ladies and gentlemen, it tastes SO disgusting that it makes me retch. But, from past experience I know it works. And I can't stand being this ill anymore. I'm coughing so hard that I feel like my insides are going to come out. It's not pleasent.

Wow, amazingness has occurred! My mother has volentarily decided to put up the Xmas decor as week ahead of the plan!!! I wonder if she's found my blog? XD So the tree goes up after she's had lunch, and then we (mum, dad and moi) sit down and wtch Casablanca. Dad and I both love it, and Mum's ok with it, so it seems that today will be one of those happy-family-bonding type days. (we don't get many of them around here...)

It's really hard to amuse myself today. I tried playing the piano, but I kept on coughing and that made my fingers go into spasms, so that wasn't too good. I've run out of books already and I don't have the stamina to read stuff online today.

*coughs alarmingly* Guess I'd better hobble off once more then. I hate being ill.

>>painting negative space @ 02:48 p.m.>>positivity<<

Sunday, December 15, 2002
I have been invited to a New Years' party! Sadly, my parents (read MOTHER - Dad always refuses to get involved. What a sensible man), have a problem with this. Because it is in London. South London, so if I am allowed to go it means getting from Kings X to where ever. XD. Mum's not a happy bunny about that. Thing is, I daren't tell her of all the times I've been places I shouldn't, because allthough this would prove that I could do it without getting mugged, I would never be allowed out of the house again. *.*

Another problem is that she says I have to choose between this and the Lil-bean's February Ball. Which is pretty amazing as I thought she'd said no to that anyway (it's on my birthday). hhmmm...she just tried to ring the train station, so that is a good sign.

oh god I'm not well at all. Evetrytime I cough I have this muscle spasm in my side. And the inside of my throat is being ripped apart. *mewls* I'm going to go and eat crumpets and what TV. So there.

>>painting negative space @ 12:45 p.m.>>positivity<<

Saturday, December 14, 2002
Thank you Mike - you're my no.1 Munchkin, as I've said before. *mwaps* Hopefully this dreaded cough will be gone by Wednesday, otherwise I may not see you...*whimpers*

Anyway,lets all get in the festive mood, huh? That'd be very nice. it would be especially nice, as Xmas doesn't start in this house until next week when my parents finally allow something joyful and nice into our home. XD

Seriously, they are scary the crap out of me right now. I know everyone argues but...*shutupshutupshutup*

Everyone I told I would ring I apologise...I keep on losing my voice and having to mime, so I don't think a phone convo would go very smoothly! I'll get on the phone as soon as my voice is more dependable.

Spider-girl I sympathise...and yes, if you put ice cubes on the dented carpet, leave them to melt and then vaccuum over it, the carpet springs back into life...apparenty. Also, I greatly look forward to continuing The Project!

I need to go and curl up in a chair now...

>>painting negative space @ 08:29 p.m.>>positivity<<

Saturday, December 14, 2002
I just got out of bed...and I'm the only one in this side of the house. XD Pat has gone to work...and Dad is either shopping or in bed with a hangover, and I don't know where Mum is, bed I know she's up because the curtains are open and her screen name was up as I signed on. I should be a dectective. *gringrin*

My cough has got worse. I was reading Knocked Out By My Numga-Nungas in bed, and since it is a book of hilariousosity, I laughed alot. But the trouble is that when I laugh I just make this horrible croaky-coughing sound. Mush like when I try to speak. bugger.

Oh God, I have loads of stuff to do...I need to sort all the Xmas cards, make sure we got everyone presents, tidy up the house, sort out the videos (ie chuck most of them as they don't work), get on the exercise bike, watch Casablanca, do some writing, eat and have a bath and go out. ohhh fuck, that doesn't give me much time. Maybe I'll have to move at three times the speed of sound and I'll be pulverised like that vicar said Father Christmas would be. Honestly. What an IDIOT...and he has the nerve to tell us that God created the world in six days? Insano.

*coughcroakcough*

>>painting negative space @ 01:35 p.m.>>positivity<<

Saturday, December 14, 2002
Hell, this is just getting >FUNNY< now! Setsu...I like you style! *waves*

I'm now calling the guestbook the drive-through bitching ground, as that is what it has turned into. I have no strength left to fight it...XD

oh, bananarising bananas...

>>painting negative space @ 01:15 a.m.>>positivity<<

Friday, December 13, 2002
Just bite me MSN.
>>painting negative space @ 11:14 p.m.>>positivity<<

Friday, December 13, 2002
I'm tired. I'm very tired. I'm so tired that my fingers feel heavy as I type. And yet I cannot sleep.

Such is life, ain't it sucky?

I also have a cough like an ex-miner. This isn't a good thing people, if you lived here, you would know.

>>painting negative space @ 04:10 p.m.>>positivity<<

Thursday, December 12, 2002
so, I'm bleeding to death, it's quarter to twelve at night and I haven't eaten a proper meal since lunch and everyone I love...well, look a the guestbook if you're curious.

On the plus I I can get my leg up to about...80% on a grand thingumy (french ballet word that I can't spell. XD). Somehow, although good, this does NOT help much.

I'm going to bed. >.<

>>painting negative space @ 11:45 p.m.>>positivity<<

Thursday, December 12, 2002
I can't stand this. I love you all, and I hate you abusing each other. I don't want all this ugly shit on my ground. Back off, it's hurting me. Think about that.

>>painting negative space @ 10:40 p.m.>>positivity<<

Thursday, December 12, 2002
oh GOD, not again. *clutches head in pain*

Ok, Ed, stop fucking around in my guestbook, or I'll get a tracker and then we'll all know who's saying what.

Rae-Kitten, come over here and I can kiss your non-bleeding heart better, ne? *winks*

Shoi I am so gonna talk to you and Friday night. *bounces* oh, and I'm having trouble with your ney layout...it's very cool but it won't let me into your guestbook...*whimper*

I would like to take this moment in time to say: Harry Potter slash fans visitHERE as it gives a very very good Sirius/Remus fiction...*happy I-chan*

Thank you for listening to this announcement. Goodnight.

>>painting negative space @ 06:32 p.m.>>positivity<<

Thursday, December 12, 2002
The computer's feeling the cold I think...it's taken about twenty minutes just to get online and get all the windoes and stuff up. XD, maybe I should give it a blanket or soemthing. LOL

Last night went to the archery Xmas meal, which was fun. Munchkin had a rather amusing reindeer hat, which, get this, had a SQUEAKY RED NOSE! *DIES*

Got talking to the guy sitting next to me, and was really interesting. He was in the Navy as a nurse for nine years, and now he's a nurse at a hospital in Newcastle (I think). He was really sweet...pity I don't know his name! *grins* I do that a lot...talk to really nice interesting people, and completey forget to introduce myself and suchlike. Nevermind, I'll find out some other time. =__=

So, Mum's feeling a bit better today...though I can tell she's not really on top of things. It's kind of scary that I can tell what sort of mood she's in by the way she walks up the stairs in the morning. I guess that is what happens when you're really close to someone. XD. I can do it with my Dad too, but his emotions are always pretty damn obvious...1 annoyed, 2 furious, 3 pure hatred of all mankind, 4 kidding himself that he is Father Nature and leanient home educating parent (like HELL. Posh school education shows up Dad), 5 ridiculously happy because the housing comittee laughed at a lame joke, 6 exhausted and 7 asleep.

I know that is bitchy, but sometimes I really don't get my Dad, and we are alike in all the wrong ways. ie, we both hate to be insulted, avoid confrontation until we blow up then and sulk. Though I like to think that I'm more mature about it. Who wouldn't? ;)

I'm also very similar to my Mum in lots of ways, apart from not having really low self esteem and being unable to make desisions without dillying about for ten mintues. XD, I love my mum to pieces, but some of the time she drives me up the wall..*.*

It's occured to me that a lot of the time I complain or talk about my parents and such...I got this book from the library, and in the cover there's a poem (I forget who it is by) but it starts off: They fuck you up, your mum and dad, they may not mean to, but they do. It's a funny sort of poem, but it ends but saying something along the lines of if you want to breack the cycle, don't have any kids yourself which I originally thought was funny, but the more I think about it, it seems dark and a bit sad.

Anyway, however much I am fucked up by my upbringing, I'll always have the reassurence that everybody else was too.

And on that note, dear friends, I'm off to learn about microbiology...how ironic.

Not.

>>painting negative space @ 11:42 a.m.>>positivity<<

Wednesday, December 11, 2002
*squeak* was linked back by her *falls flat on back* This is fabbiness as never seen before...*hyper giggle*

oh dear, Imogen, you must retain what cool you have...little though this may be. XXD

zi, this morning my fabulous alarm clock once again failed to do it's job and wake me up. Dad comes in at eight o clock and say "er, are you meant to be going somewhere?". Cue Imogen shreik and rush out of bed and throw stuff together and LEAVE THE HOUSE, without any brekkie. Poor Immi. *whimper*

It was damn cold too, even though I had scarf, gloves, hat,and about five layers of top s 'n stuff underneather all that. mewl.

So, I have only one more piano lesson and then it's the holiday...*bounces* I love to play, but sometimes...need sleep and rest and lots of good precious books, TV and internet. o_<

Nirvana /rock/ XD

>>painting negative space @ 04:52 p.m.>>positivity<<

Tuesday, December 10, 2002
I'd just like to say hi to MIKA, who as far as I can tell is a rawking dude. *waves* don't be frightened...;)

>>painting negative space @ 10:53 p.m.>>positivity<<

Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Ed, stop pretending to be other people! For crying out loud, man. sheesh.

ok, did anyone have anything to say abuot the new layout? hm? *arched eyebrows* Ok then, lets move on from this point. >.<

I have to get up early in the morning to do stuff before I leave the house...mewl. It's so cold in the mornings...cold anytime though. I've started just wearing my dressing gown on top of all my other clothes in an attempt to ward off the artic chill. *giggles* it's now an advantage that my room is so goddamn TINY, as it keeps the precious heat in. hehehe *brrr*

muahahahahhaa! Life may suck, but I can still laugh at completely stupid things, like the ad for Robbie Williams' new CD, Escapology. LMFAO, that is such an awful advert! I was curled up in my chair practically crying with laughter! XDXD, the cold's affecting my brain I think...

>>painting negative space @ 10:40 p.m.>>positivity<<

Tuesday, December 10, 2002
*nods shyly* yes Munchkin, I did draw the pic. Do you like it? I'm rather proud of the original (you can't see all the detail on the layout). :D

nurgh, sometimes I wish children could divorce parents. It's be a hell of a lot easier than sitting around here watching everything fall apart, completely clueless as to what to do. XD If I could I'd write a book, but I don't think I can, so I'm screwed on making my fortune and eventually blowing this joint on THAT count at least. ugh.

Anyway, must talk and think of better things. *grabs dog and pets her*

zai, I'm working on a pastel picture that I started a week or two ago. It was a self-portrait, but it turned into a very depressed looking swamp-lady with crazy hair. I like how it's turning out, because I've made her features quite immobile, but the hair and the background are swirling and look as if they're being blown by a huge storm...Mum says it's a bit like The Scream, because it looks like your shoved right up close to an insane person. Weird. As I said, it started out aas my self portrait. XD, maybe that's telling me something about the way I look! *grin*

Actually, art is so nice...I haven't been drawing for a long time, but I've found it really relaxing over the past couple of weeks just to sit and draw in my room. I've got this big book of fantasy art from the library, and some of the stuff is just to die for, truly it is. There's an AMAZING painting of a woodland clearing, with a castle in the distance and some warriors facing a dragon. But the dragon looks holographic, it's so cool...like it's a conjured image. But my absolute favourite is a picture of a woman - she looks like a mage - outside, in what looks like the remains of a building, with plants everywhere, and she's set up this magical triangle that she's half stepping in. She's incredibly beautiful, only wearing a short gown thing, which normally I'd be completely pissed about, but it is just a stunning painting. *sighs happily*

This room is sort of cold, but I don't really want to go out into the rest of the house because the atmostphere is evil. I guess I could just go and hole up in my room or get in the bath or something. bleh. Still, Minka's in here with me, sniffing around on the floor and looking up at me with her almond shaped brown eyes, like she can read my mind! Quite odd, but very endearing... Mom wants the PC. Time to go *floats off*
>>painting negative space @ 07:03 p.m.>>positivity<<

Tuesday, December 10, 2002
MWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Rae-Kitten! Let's all pet her to death for this rather cool layout, because I'm in lurve with it! *manic giggle*

>>painting negative space @ 07:00 p.m.>>positivity<<

Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Jenneth, your new layout is up. ^^;
Delete this entry once you've seen it.
--Rachel--
>>painting negative space @ 04:54 p.m.>>positivity<<

Tuesday, December 10, 2002
HAHAHAHA! Bite me, Angel! I have traded you in for a newer Fallen Angel. oh, how nasty. Sorry hun. *.*

oh fuck it, sometimes I really hate myself. Why am I such a...me?

Mum's having a bad time. Xmas is never good for her but this year it just seems worse somehow. Maybe it's because I'm older and I can't bury my head in the sand anymore. God knows it'd be nice if I could.

I have to go walk the dogs and then do some Maths and then start cooking. I'll have to find out whether Mum still wants me to bake whole fruit loaf for her Yoga class meal or not...XD, how much of a mother do I sound like? bleh, life is stange folks, and then...

My fingers are purple.

>>painting negative space @ 03:07 p.m.>>positivity<<

Monday, December 9, 2002
XD, Maya-chan, go to my archive...there's a post about how that totally wasn't you anyway. lol! love ya dearling...I'll ring you super-soon. *mwah*

Why oh why is it so cold? *am freezing to death here*

neep! I've been fabulous and got my ass onto the exercise bike for two sessions...I am resolved to use it four times a week (the other three I swim or dance). It's a personal aim to be able to get my leg up to ninty degrees in ballet, so the only way to do that is improve my leg muscles. O.o

I'm going to go now and get into a nice warm place now...like a rather large and determined hamster...LMAO

>>painting negative space @ 05:06 p.m.>>positivity<<

Monday, December 9, 2002
I'm building a website at geocities, but the damn things being all mardy about it...*growl* It doesn't help that it take me about four hours a go to get all the correct HTML together either. please tell me this gets easier...all I want is my own site! *pleads*

I now have to go out in the cold for no good reason. XD

>>painting negative space @ 02:21 p.m.>>positivity<<

Sunday, December 8, 2002
XD. I'm wearing my hat. Indoors. At the computer. It's freaky-deaky, I admit, but it makes me feel better. If I pull it down over my eyes it's like a warm little head-cocoon. *purr*

I am going on the exercise bike soon...honest. Thing is, i want to do it, but it's so boring. Even if you put the TV or radio on or prop a book up against the handles it numbs one's brain. But hey, the endorphins will cheer me up, right?

TheBrotherCreature is working today, and Mommy is at a Yoga day. Yoga and learning how to teach it and stuff for a day, which I guess is nice if you can do that sort of thing (Imogen cannot do headstands and whatnot to save her life). XD, it's really dumb and annoying that my MOTHER is more flexible than I am. She's thirty year older than me, for crying out loud. Still, I take after my Grandma, so it's hardly surprising. bleh. Praccy make perfecto, ne? *grins*

So, I'm at home with Dad and the dogs. Go my life! lol, no, actually I'm glad I've got time at home. I love my friends very very much, but there is a point when I have to cross the line into Imogen-time. I hope that's understandable. Coz if it isn't, then I can't do anything to help. XD sorry.

gotta go now...

>>painting negative space @ 12:55 p.m.>>positivity<<

Saturday, December 7, 2002
Munchkin dear, there's absoloutely nothing wrong with Angel...that's part of my problem. He's too...nice? lol, now he's off the telly my love is waining. lol

My legs hurt. I'm not feleing very well. *wail* I'm going to have I lurvly looong restful weekend though. hehehe

Daniel Daronda! Who else LOVES it? Who else is SAD that it's over? Who else carefully taped all of the episodes? *happy smugness*

Mah Ellie is tired and gone to nap...mewl.

I can't wait for Xmas. I want a holiday where I can just ignore all the horrible things and just have fun. That'll be nice. Not that my life is bad or anything, but I am entering the world of teen angst and stuff with a freaking vengeance. Thought I'd got through all that years ago, but oh no...if it's not biological, it's emotional (though most would argue that the two are irrevicably knit anyway). bleh, why god, why? Why am I me...I could be so many other people, and yet I am this conciousness, this mind body and spirit. That's a lot to be thankful for, but a person, and especially a teenage person, can always find something to groan about. How sucky is that? XD

>>painting negative space @ 10:27 p.m.>>positivity<<

Saturday, December 7, 2002
Ok people! I've archived my previous bloggage, so if you wanna go back and re-cap or whatever, click on the link!

Bitch-Twin is being a dearling and creating me a new layout, and says she'll give me a temporary layout, so that I don't have to look at Angel anymore (sorry hun, but you're BUGGING me in a big way right now). teehee.

It's still cold and raining as she has already said. 'm meant to be doing Xmas shopping, but the shops are full. I do have a cunning plan though. *wiggles eyebrows*

Anyway, I just had Chinese Buffet (fabulouso) with ThePillow, Bunny and BunnyTwin and Elli-babs. Was very good. I think I may have to go back there sometime soon and eat more of their sprin rolls. *spanglespangle*

Then I had to take El-chan to the station. We were sitting the the cold metal bench, freezing our asses off and singing our own special version of "Brim Full of Ashes", when our eating buddies appeared in front of us like amazing appearing things. Cue Imogen and Rae DIE of massive giggle attack. zang. O.o

I'll miss mah honey - but TheProject will be soon in existance (you cannot run...nor will you hide), so that's quite quite fabby. I'm very excited!

I'm in the library, in case you hadn't guessed. Four pre-adolecents are having some soft porn chat or something in a chatroom I think. It's fairly freaky. I mean, they look so...tame. XD

God, I'm so cold. I was cold when i woke up this morning, and cold when we came out and cld in here. And it's not like I'm not wrapped up like the baby Jesus or anthing, cause I am (just not in rags and straw...lol). Hey ho, perhaps the mad rush of Xmas shopping adrealine will kick me back to some form or normality. Maybe not.

Over and out

>>painting negative space @ 02:54 p.m.>>positivity<<